I want to dedicate this post to all of the great neighbors I’ve had throughout my life. And when I say great, well, I don’t exactly mean that.
I’m sure you all have had some really sweet neighbors, I know I have. The kind that brings you freshly made cookies or pies, fresh-cut flowers from the yard, or the ones who you know you can always count on for a cup of flour in a pinch (actually, do people really do that anymore?). You know, the good ones.
But, I just want to rant a little bit about our neighbors. While they may not mean to be, they are a special breed of neighbor.
Dear oblivious, dog owners who blast their music all day and all night,
Your rude comment to my mother, who walks my dog on a leash AND miraculously manages to clean up after him, as to whether or not she’s heard of dog training was way out line. The reason my dog is barking at your dog is because your dog is off leash, and is making him uncomfortable. Not cool.
Not to mention, your dogs urinate on our back patio, defecate in all the common areas, AND break the leash laws by, well, not having a leash. Fabulous. Also, don’t forget we can hear your tiny poof of a dog that barks ALL THE TIME too. We just can’t hear him/her except when we are actually outside is because he or she is like, half of a pound. Also, worrying about stepping in your dog’s shit when we’re in backyard area is really swell. So is your bass thumping music that you play at all hours of the day and night between 8am and 4am nearly every day. Thanks for that.
Take your own advice
Dear Frazzled Parents,
We haven’t met, but you sure sound like an elephant. I have NO idea how you make so much noise at random hours 8am, 9pm, 2am? Elephants. All. The. Time. Also, throwing parties is awesome. What is not awesome is hearing your small child crying in your bedroom (above ours) all night while you throw said party. And then hearing your child running down the hall screaming and crying, when I assume it has finally had enough and got out of bed. When I don’t hear your baby crying, I hear your dog barking. Constantly. I mean, I get it. Dogs bark sometimes. But please, can you like, give your dog a frozen Kong or something?
Oh, and whichever of you snores, wow, that’s impressive. We can feel the vibrations in our walls AND hear you sawing logs every night. Love it.
Your much quieter downstairs neighbor
If I could give you any advice, it is to not buy a condo. While they make great vacation rentals, you cannot escape your neighbors. Yeesh.
Do you have any horrifying neighbors? I want all the deets!
Just stopping by from your guest post on The Grits. LOVED this post! It reminded me so much of when I lived in my tiny apartment and had the craziest neighbors ever. I feel for you. My one neighbor had severe mental problems and stabbed his dad with a fork then marched up and down the hall screaming random profanity…. classy people around that neighborhood. lol I guess you can see why I moved…
Aw, thanks for stopping by Julie! :) Your old neighbors sound much scarier than mine, at least we don’t have violence! Glad you were able to get outta there! ;)
The perks of living in an apt/towhouse/attached living! I have some weird neighbours in my apt as well. Cant wait to get a home that is detached and away from the crazies! I feel sorry for the frazzled parents though. They probably want the kid to stop crying too and are probably rocking back and forth with hands over their ears in a corner going crazy haha
Oh I imagine so! I can’t believe how much their child cries, and I mean, half the time its like screaming bloody murder and crying. I’m shocked the kid doesn’t pass out from exhaustion!
So.. I know it is not funny at all having to deal with these “wonderful” neighbors of yours, but girl you are totally cracking me up! I have so been there, and have had my fair share of neighbors that make it on the “crazies list”. It has been so nice living in a house with my own fenced in yard, but I still have that one neighbor with the tiny non-stop chirping dogs the decide to relieve themselves all in my front yard. Seriously? I have a 105lb dog that pretty much walks me, but I still manage from keeping him from taking a poop in other people’s yards!!! AHH hope it gets better love!
Haha, its okay, I’m used to them by now and am glad it provides entertainment for others! ;) Ugh, your neighbor with the dogs sounds awful. There are so many of those types in our complex, and many of them don’t pick up after their dogs either.
Ugh, your neighbors are too much- ESPECIALLY the rude ones! (I mean, they’re all technically rude, but the ones who decided to criticize your mother) I love when you can hear neighbors having sex (in my case, I lived in the same apt but in the room next to them where they KNOW the walls are thin — have they never heard of playing music if they’re going to be THAT loud?!) and the actual neighbor next to me (whose bedroom also borders mine but is in a different apt) raps/sings to THE SAME SONG on repeat for HOURS with the bass on the highest level. Really? I guess he’s an aspiring musician… but he can keep it to hours that don’t end in ‘am.’ Lol, it still amazes me how people get by being so inconsiderate. I’ll have a post “Roommates Pt. 2” on my blog within the next few days that deals with this type of struggle!!
HAHA omg your neighbors are cracking me up! I’m glad we can commiserate together, and I’m definitely going to be reading about your roommates. I have had my share of crazy and not-so-crazy roommates too! :)
hahaha i loved this, not wanting to laugh at your pain but thank goodness i never had to deal with this. the worst neighbours we had played music fairly loud but we couldn’t hear it when we closed the door, cause we weren’t right next to them. also we had a lady that couldnt park, and we only had 10 spots for 8 apartments, and she took 2. dumb cow.
You are so lucky you’ve had good neighbors! The woman that couldn’t park… ugh how irritating! I hope someone left her nasty notes on her car, I would have :P
haha yep my husband did ;)
I’ve had similar experiences when it comes to neighbors and their dogs. Is it really that hard to put a leash on your dog or pick up after it?
Ugh, I know right? It’s really not that hard!
wow you can hear the snoring? That is pretty bad! our neighbors are fine but in our neighborhood, people walk in the middle of the street which is a little strange. and they give you dirty looks if you’re driving ha. so weird.
Yes, I can totally hear it! So loud. People in my parents neighborhood do the same thing, walk down the middle, and if you try to go around them they glare. So weird!
Ohhh I totally agree with you on all of these! I live in a duplex right now and we have had two different sets of neighbors pick up and move all of their stuff in the middle of the night! I don’t even understand how this is possible! One guy did it all by himself at three in the morning while throwing his beds and stuff down his stairs. Ohhh it was not a fun night! Haha!
Haha what! That’s so bizarre!
Hahaha. This is extra-funny to me because I was thinking of writing something similar, specially dedicated to my upstairs neighbor who puts their vibrating alarm clock ON THE FLOOR. It goes off at 6 AM. Guess who normally gets up that early? Nobody in my house! Guess who hears it vibrating and wakes up anyway? This gal!
Ugh that sounds so annoying! I hope you still write the post, I will happily commiserate! :P
This is too funny and completely relatable! Unfortunately, we have the oblivious dog owner that has tried to attack me AND my dog once while I had my dog out on a LEASH. Needless to say, the key word here is once. After a few threatening words towards the oblivious owner’s dog’s life, I think he got the message. Good luck with your situation!
Seriously? Wow! People are so crazy. I’m glad it hasn’t happened since!
This post made me laugh out loud! I don’t miss living in an apartment at all. I lived in an apartment for 3 years in Torrance, CA. There was the sick old lady whose smoke always wafted across the breezeway through our open windows (no ac), the eccentric, bi-polar bohemian upstairs with the dog that barked all day while her owner was gone (forget power naps), and the party-loving loud sex having boob-jobber who supposedly sold cars, but actually either sold something else, or just really enjoyed variety.
HAHA! It sounds like you have some stories, your old neighbors sound nuts!
I am obsessed with your dog. Thankfully my neighbors are sweethearts but I totally have some nightmarish people in my building
Aw, thanks! He’s pretty cute, but don’t be fooled by that ;) I’m so glad you have good neighbors, I’m jealous!
Oh, that’s horrible. I had a crazy lady who hated any and all noise once–who lived under me. The management had to beg me to let them in and do a carpet check, just so they could tell her to move out if she had any more problems.
People are crazy.
Oh my gosh, how awful! Some people are seriously just crazy. :(
I totally do . . . do you mind if I borrow this and do a blog post next week? I will totally tag you and thank you for the idea. Is that alright?
Not at all! Post away about your crazy neighbors, I’d love to read it :)
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